Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers,
but to be fearless in facing them.
Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain,
but for the heart to conquer it.

- Rabindranath Tagore

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Wednesday, April 3, 2013

The Waiting Place

One of my favorite authors is Dr. Seuss. His book Oh! The Places You Will Go is an inspiring read. It's a genuine read as well. He doesn't pretend that life is one constant success , but, in fact, is an ebb and flow between success and failure. The title of my blog "you have feet in your shoes" is taken from this simple little gem.

At the Contemplative Prayer session today at Gravity the word that I focused on is "wait." I had the chance to share the beginning of my story with Phileena, and got to share the profound effect of Psalm 27:13-14 to me. It repeats "wait patiently on the Lord." It was from this point that I began and ended my meditation. What happened in between and afterward is what makes it interesting. While thinking and listening for insight and the voice of the Lord, it occurred to me that waiting is not unlike standing. Taking a stand. Standing your ground. Things of that sort. I thought about Gandhi's ideas of non-violent resistance and it is both a waiting and standing, but it is also being. In standing your ground and affirming that as a human one deserves dignity as inherent to his or her being, he or she is using "soul force." I came back to the word "wait."

On my way home, I began thinking more about it and it occurred to me that that amazing book talked about the "waiting place." I reread that little bit and what stuck out to me was that he called it "a most useless place."

The whole thing can be read here: http://homepages.ius.edu/harrisla/places.htm

I disagree. In waiting, whether it be on the Lord, or for the things Dr. Seuss talked about, we reflect. Sometimes we don't, but in general, it forces reflection. What are we waiting for, why are we waiting for it. In waiting and reflecting, we find purpose. It primes us to do what we should when the waiting is over.

I'm in my own sort of waiting place. I cannot wear my left prosthesis and cannot do much of anything as to work. It is very hard for me. I am hardwired to work hard. I think it's in my DNA. My dad works at a steel mill and put in multiple 80+ hour work weeks last year. Nevertheless, I have found goodness in this waiting place. I have begun to write my story with more purpose. I have found more time to read the books on my nightstand. And, I have realized once again how miraculous it is that I can walk at all. Crawling around the house on my knees humbles me. My niece visited yesterday. She is barely a year old, but she can walk, and outrun me. A child has more mobility than I do without my prosthesis. So, what do I do when I get them back? I am excited to once again stand on my feet. To work hard. To live more fully. But, I am making great efforts to make thankful humility more a part of my life when I'm not "down."

2 comments:

Tami Tucker said...

I can only imagine how hard it is. I am praying for you & with you! I love you!!! Mum

Anonymous said...

I understand but to clearly understand is to see you at work with a simple reminder that you still do have feet in your shoes.