Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers,
but to be fearless in facing them.
Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain,
but for the heart to conquer it.

- Rabindranath Tagore

Inspirational Music

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Down but not out

I continue to struggle with consistency in my blogging. I was working a large number of hours last week until Friday morning. I woke up to my favorite visitor--a sore too deep for me to handle. I knew immediately that I was going to be "down," and needed to go to the wound clinic, but was hopeful it would be able to be resolved over the weekend. I was wrong. I won't be back on both feet until next week. In any case, busyness and being down are very hard to overcome. Both have separate but equally large obstacles to me writing.

Until today all of the time I've spent down has been one long time pass. That's all I could do: pass the time. I couldn't focus on reading or anything productive; it was like I developed ADHD instantaneously. So I watched television shows on Netflix or films, slept sporadically, and was generally frustrated. My new home has made a huge difference. And, by new home I mean having one of my closest "bru"s living with me. 

Last night, as I was heading back to the couch from the kitchen, I heard the melodic sounds of a guitar from upstairs (any of you who've heard this guy play know exactly what I mean). Zach was practicing/tinkering. I crawled up the stairs and fell exhausted on his floor. It was just like the many times in high school that I found myself at his house being renewed by the sounds from his expert fingers. I went from laying flat, to sitting upright, to singing hymns, to asking hard questions with my friend that we both knew there are no answers for in this life. I slept well through the night and, in fact, slept in this morning. I woke up, made some tea, and started to read. I've since unpacked a great deal of my stuff and organized a little. I intend to get more reading done and some writing, perhaps. This might all sound mundane, but to me its revolutionary. I will get back on my feet next week stronger than when I went down last week. This is a new, unexpected, and joyful blessing.

1 comment:

Tami Tucker said...

I am so grateful that you live where you do! I pray God uses this time to speak to your heart & give you CLEAR guidance on His desires for your life! ;) Luv Ya LOTS!!!