Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers,
but to be fearless in facing them.
Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain,
but for the heart to conquer it.

- Rabindranath Tagore

Inspirational Music

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

A deep breath: held, lost, and gasped for. Perhaps finally caught.

I just decided that more than anything else right now, even than the big summer plans I've been hatching, I want to read a book and finish the darn thing!

I picked up a copy of this and took it halfway to bed, then put it down and went back to the bookshelf because that sounded better. After repeating this too many times I opened the book I wanted to read before I set about crawling back to my bed. This one was Oswald Chambers biography. I almost didn't pick it up in the first place because I thought I was in the mood for something with more energy or entertainment value. I did pick it up. I opened it and realized that I had read it up to page 82. I thought I had a good chance of finishing it so I took it back and made it all the way. As I opened it in the warm light of my bedside lamp the rush of memory flooded in. Now I'm losing my composer and getting my keyboard wet. I was reading this very book the night before I went hiking that Semptember Saturday..................................I remember how hard I was trying to read a chapter a night no matter how late I got in from being as college as legit college gets or how early I had to get up to make coffee before I left. I remember vaguely making head-way in the book as well as in establishing again the simple practice of enjoying a good book while quieting my mind of the dreams of tomorrow (which really did pull a lot of weight and still do, much more than the worries of the day). It's interesting that I would find this tonight. I watched the picture Garden State for the first time tonight. It's a story of a young man who finally finds himself and strength to be himself with a thorough washing away of his old facade. I don't have a direct comparison at all, but the film made me think a lot about the things I like about myself and the things about me that not only honor God but bring Him joy. I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd try reading.

I don't know what else there is to be said other than the hour is late.

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