My extended family on my mom's side is going through some very, very hard things. I do not have the freedom to go into them, but they are the kind of things that bring tears up just by mentioning them. My heart feel like its being broken several times each day.
I discovered a verse in Psalms months into my recovery, but before I was able to walk on two legs or snowboard etc. It was like having someone else put into words what your heart was expressing. That verse is Psalm 27:13-14. This is the King James version:
"I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord."
This is my expanded version based heavily on the Amplified Bible version:
"What! What would I have become (embittered, scared and cornered, oppressed by fear) had I not believed that I would see with my own eyes the goodness of the Lord before I die.
Wait on Yahweh-yireh, our Lord who provides, rest your hope in Him. Expect to see and feel His presence.
Be boldly brave and dare to be courageous in the face of fear. May your heart be a fortress of strength, taking every bombardment head on. When, after every assault (for their may be too many to count), you find your heart has been reduced to rubble pile--renew and rebuild it in the Christ!
Wait on Yahweh-rapha, our Lord who heals, rest your hope in Him. Expect to see and feel His presence."
These are not just words to me, they are life--my life. I don't get the luxury of rose tinted glasses anymore. I see the pain, I feel the pain. Our world is hurting, our people--the human race--are hurting. Pretending that saying "I'll pray for you" does a *expletive* thing is buying into a lie. We cannot leave each other out in the cold, facing the brokenness alone. We cannot sit in our "city on a hill" anymore, we must light a candle and defy the darkness. That darkness starts inside first, really. We must face "our demons." But, it cannot end when we are "enlightened" and free.
I echo once more, MARCH IN, taking hope with you!
I discovered a verse in Psalms months into my recovery, but before I was able to walk on two legs or snowboard etc. It was like having someone else put into words what your heart was expressing. That verse is Psalm 27:13-14. This is the King James version:
"I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord."
This is my expanded version based heavily on the Amplified Bible version:
"What! What would I have become (embittered, scared and cornered, oppressed by fear) had I not believed that I would see with my own eyes the goodness of the Lord before I die.
Wait on Yahweh-yireh, our Lord who provides, rest your hope in Him. Expect to see and feel His presence.
Be boldly brave and dare to be courageous in the face of fear. May your heart be a fortress of strength, taking every bombardment head on. When, after every assault (for their may be too many to count), you find your heart has been reduced to rubble pile--renew and rebuild it in the Christ!
Wait on Yahweh-rapha, our Lord who heals, rest your hope in Him. Expect to see and feel His presence."
These are not just words to me, they are life--my life. I don't get the luxury of rose tinted glasses anymore. I see the pain, I feel the pain. Our world is hurting, our people--the human race--are hurting. Pretending that saying "I'll pray for you" does a *expletive* thing is buying into a lie. We cannot leave each other out in the cold, facing the brokenness alone. We cannot sit in our "city on a hill" anymore, we must light a candle and defy the darkness. That darkness starts inside first, really. We must face "our demons." But, it cannot end when we are "enlightened" and free.
I echo once more, MARCH IN, taking hope with you!
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